Managing Childhood Trauma

As adults, we might think that our childhood traumatic experiences are long gone, and we have left them in the past or buried them down so deeply that they can’t come back to haunt us. But then we realize that we are wary of our surroundings, anxious when presented with certain situations, triggered by sounds, places, or smells, and even paralyzed with fear. All of a sudden traumatic memories come back, and they start playing like a movie in our minds, and the more we want to delete them the harder it gets to store them away.
Childhood trauma is often overlooked by people because we might think that talking about it will make us relive or hurt more, but who are we kidding, are the memories staying buried down in our minds? Are they not popping up unexpectedly? Are they not affecting us on a daily basis?
When we try to ignore traumatic experiences that we have lived though we don’t have a handle on them and they can pop up whenever they want, uninvited and unannounced. Let’s put it this way if I tell you: “You can imagine anything in the world, but whatever you do DON’T think about a cow”. What is the first image that comes to our mind? More often than not, the image of a cow pops up in our mind, maybe a brown cow, maybe a spotted cow, maybe a white or black one, nonetheless still a cow. The same thing happens when we try to constantly not think about our past trauma.
Our culture also plays a big role in how we manage (or not) our traumatic experiences. In the Hispanic/Latinx culture, as well as many other cultures, traumatic experiences are often minimized or brushed under the rug. Let’s take childhood sexual abuse as an example. If you are, as I am Hispanic/Latinx, reading the last line probably made your heart stop for a second, and maybe thought I should not talk about that unspeakable subject. However, if we look at the numbers and the statistics (promise I won’t talk about numbers much) Advocacy Centers have estimated that 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18. That is a lot of children, and you guessed it, they become and have become adults. Some people are able to address their traumatic experiences during childhood, but a vast majority have never received therapeutic services at all.
So, what can we do about it?
There are a few answers to this question. The main answer I’ll give you is that you are not alone and seeking help through therapy is always a good answer. Childhood trauma is never the survivor’s fault, your experiences and feelings should not be minimized or brushed under the rug and there are ways of processing and healing traumatic wounds.
Acknowledging that we have experienced and survived 1 or many traumatic experiences and that our current lives may be impacted by these experiences is a way of starting to deal with the current symptoms or difficulties you may be experiencing in your day-to-day life.
Other things you can do include:
Acknowledge that you have been triggered – pinpointing or trying to learn what triggered you will help you predict and be mindful of recurrent situations that can produce an unwanted emotional reaction so you can plan a strategy to calm and ground yourself.
Make sure you are safe – safety is the number 1 priority so, check out your surroundings and find a spot where you can safely sit or stand while you regroup and/or use your preferred coping skill.
If you are at home, a good way to calm your system when it is overloaded with emotions is to take a shower, you can also drink some cold water, eat something that you like, or if you like the outdoors go for a walk.
Breathe, ah yes, I went there, deep breathing is one of my favorite calming techniques. Why? Because we can do it anywhere, inconspicuously, nobody even notices that you are doing it. Take a slow deep breath through your nose while counting 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, and release it through your mouth counting 6 seconds.
Grounding exercise – an easy and effective way to regulate is to practice a simple grounding exercise that includes all your senses. First, look around for 5 things you can see and name them (either out loud or in your mind), then name 4 things you can feel or touch, after that name 3 things you can hear (paying close attention to your surroundings), subsequently name 2 things you can smell (the air, grass, ground, a perfume or scent) and lastly 1 thing you can taste (candy, gum, water a snack, carry something small for this step)
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